…………Life continued and I lived as I would like any girl. Looking for relationship, someone who would accept me for who I was. I was disappointed, jilted, hurt, you name it. I hated men as I hated my father. I hated most women as I hated my mother.
That didn’t stop me either. I continued to do what I did and enjoy the freedom I had. Over the years, I began to have this urge to discover myself internally. Within me, there was this belief that I am worth something and I can be something; most importantly, happy and confident.. I wanted to walk tall and proud and just be me.
As I grew older, I desired to be better and wanted all the more to break free from the devil and negative emotions and behaviours I had inside. I was interested in the psychology of the human mind. My mind was so tortured, I needed to do something. I could spend hours sitting in a mall and just observing people and thought why these people who are physically perfect not smiling.. What is so bad about their life? I began to look inside of the human particularly myself. I read books and would seek spiritual advice too.
That desire to be free took me to many more adventures and I have found many wonderful friends, acquaintances, strangers and good samaritans. The not so kind ones also taught me valuable lessons about life; Never to be like them!
Today, as an adult, I am a totally different person. I love being me with a physical disability which is a blessing in disguise. I see myself in a different light. I am able to embrace each day knowing the God has a BIGGER PLAN which you and I will never know until it happens.
When I see children, I see their beauty of being a child. Children should just be them, they are the greatest teachers to me. They teach me to be simple, forgiving, happy, love unconditionally and so much more. Adults confused children as I was confused by adults in my life. They make life so difficult for themselves hence their children.
Physical disability is a blessing because it has taught me painful but valuable lessons about me and what I am capable of. I stand proud eventhough not straight, with my chin up and a big smile on my face.
My life has been painful and many times traumatic. My whole world collapsed a few times, but I managed, through my stubbornness and spirit within to fight for survival.
GIVING UP LIFE IS AN OPTION! I have fallen into the dark pits so often, I could have given up but I didn’t.
I have forgiven my parents as they were just doing what they know best in their circumstances and their ignorance. Most importantly, I have forgiven myself. I love me! When I love me, I love others around me.
Today, I coach those who need my help because I understand the struggles inside and get out of the dark pits of life. All one needs to do is make a choice.
LIFE IS GOOD AND WILL BE… There are two sides to life, which do you choose. I chose the better and brighter one! I want to always shine even when the sky is dark.
Published on 28 July 2011 – the Star
Catherine Lim 