Past caught up with me

It has been a while since I have met anyone from my distant past during my youth where my life was filled with questions where life had no purpose.

For the past months, I was busy with work and being a daughter to my elderly parents and reflecting on  where God wanted me to go.  Placing my trust in my creator is one of those where it challenges me to let go of control and allowing Him to journey with me.

Anyway, back to my meeting people of my distant past as a youth. This came to be as this gnawing question “how has my life impacted or just by being me, has any meaning at all, especially during the years where everything seemed wrong, and when I was about to give up.”  That gnawing question was answered a couple of days ago.

A few months ago, I was in a place of gathering and from a far a guy smiled at me and then walked into the hall.  He looked familiar and yet I was not sure.  Then a few days ago, I was back there again and he was seated a few rows behind me.  After the event was over, I walked towards him and called his name ( I was very sure).  His eyes sparkled and he smiled and said, “You remembered my name”. He quickly told he me was sick and also lost a leg and his memory.  He forgot almost everything about his life.  Slowly, he could remember certain things and he said he remembered me (except my name).  His memory told him that I am someone from his past and then he remembered how I inspired him because of my disability and being able to dance so well in functions.  He loved to sing and we used sing together.  After his sickness 7 years ago, he is now teaching music at home but has not sung.  I encouraged him to sing again and I know he can.

We were not close but we were close enough to enjoy each other’s company whenever we met for singing and practice those days.  Somehow, we lost contact and that was more than 20 years.

In that 10 minutes of just getting acquainted again (did not get to details of his sickness which he said he would want to share with me more as he died and came back to life again), I learned so much about him and myself. He is strong and uplifted.  The man with so much joy in his life despite his predicament. He told me he remembered always how inspired he was of me and that I am strength and a positive energy to those I am with.

I am so humbled by his encouragement and affirmation because as a youth, with so much of anger, questions about my existence, I could still inspire others by just being me.

After more than 20 years, I would say that this message gave me  the opportunity to share perhaps with young people of today that –

No matter how shitty life was,  as a human being, we are created for a purpose even when we are at our lowest point in life.  We only just keep pushing forward and live.  JUST LIVE.

Be curious, be adventurous, go out for activities that you like.  Get involved in charity works, serve the community, dance, sing;  just avoid illegal stuff.   The more you get involved, you meet people ;  whether those who will encourage you or ‘trample’ you –  they are actually helping you to grow. Communicate (not fight or argue) with you family members, especially your parents.  I know that parents are dominating but they do it our of love.  Be patient.

The more you keep going the more you grow and see who you are and able to grow from strength to strength and even, at the same time, inspire someone or two during your journey.  The tougher your journey, the stronger you are.  No matter how bad your storm of life is, the sun will always shine at the end of it all.  That’s how life is.  JUST DON’T GIVE UP !!!!!

What you ask will be answered,  in HIS TIME!  Trust yourself because HE created you! He cannot be wrong to create you!

I am writing this as a reminder to myself or anyone who may need this message.

My prayer is that life will lead you to where you want to go.  Journey it with faith and prayer.  Angels are around to guide you.  ‘Devils’ too… they teach you many things of what you should not become.

Ask for help; Learn and learn and keep learning and then share.  Give yourself to others in need.

We are reflections of each other.  Those who criticize you have mirrors that need cleaning, that’s all.  They cannot see more of themselves.

Most importantly, overcome yourself with victory!

extreme_self_confidence

 

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One’s Life Journey

Today, I have met so many people with so many different life story and how they came out strong and persevered.

Best of all coming out still loving and kind although still with feelings of hurt.

Gratitude and sense of abundance are so important elements which we need to hold and send out each day so that blessings continue to be showered on us as we journey each day.

Life is precious and whatever we do today, will affect tomorrow and those we touch.

One’s life journey is truly important and precious no matter where it leads.

How our little actions or even just a smile can actually change or move someone’s heart and even bring joy.

 

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. – Mother Teresa

 

 

 

 

Act of Kindness Today

God

 

It’s been a long time since I walked the morning market.  Hustle and bustle of sellers and buyers.  Fresh vegetables, fruits, trinkets, clothes, bags, dry food, canned food, coconut water, breakfast of sorts, you name it, we have it here in Malaysia.

This morning, I got up early and with my sister, Bel, we took a stroll and joined another sister of ours and my oldest niece and had breakfast.  My niece has her favourite stall that sells the freshest cakes and breads and persuaded to see and then I bought a butter cake home for my old folks.

Both my sister and my niece left but l and I sat at the coffeeshop and had our breakfast when a lady with a file came and asked for donation for a underprivileged centred which is in another state up north.  Usually, we reject such request because there are lots of syndicate involved.  However, today Bel decided that she will not question and just gave a small some. Then we asked the lady if she had breakfast and we wanted to buy her a cuppa.  She declined and thanked us for our kindness.

About 2 minutes later, an Indian gentleman approached our table and greeted us.  We know him as he has been selling lottery tickets for many years and he knows that I do not buy them.  Whenever we meet he would pass me but would greet me.  This morning, he asked how we were and that he has not seen me for a while.  We chatted and wanted to buy him a cuppa too but he declined gently and thanked us.  Then I decided that today I will buy from him since we happened to meet.

I  told Bel that 2 people rejected our offer for a cuppa but we contributed to their effort. That was the least we did.

It is somewhat a beautiful and fulfilling morning and the joy and satisfaction feeling inside of us gave us the sense of purpose that our life today is meaningful.  We are creatures of giving and sharing.  Being selfish is not in our system because you will feel dissatisfied and unhappy.  I do.

The rest of the morning after that we went about getting some soil and pots for our plants and Bel did another act of kindness when she asked the workers in the nursery if they wanted coconut water as they were having a quick bite to fill their hunger pangs while entertaining customers.  So we  did.

What a day it has been for us and I should say that our life bank account has some good deposits today.  I look forward to the rest of today and I want to enjoy every moment including writing this.

We received gifts from a good buddy of ours who went overseas just now and we are grateful because those gifts are blessings from above.

How has your day been today?  Celebrate the small happenings thank the Universe for today’s path and the stops we are going to make before the day ends.

Live every moment, and respond rightly to events that occur.  Be a magnet of positivity and greatness.

  • joie de vivre –

Friday 21 July 2017

Holding Starfish in Air

Today I have had a very personal journey of self.  I am in the world but yet I am in my own world.  Connecting my self with the world outside and the happenings as I interact with strangers and friends wherever I was.

I found my sense of peace and being able to stay calm and be kind to my emotions and my own state of mind is clearly an achievement.  I am so proud of myself.

I allowed my peace in midst of chaos or misbehaved adults.  I chose to speak nicely and not allow anger or impatience take over.  I allowed myself to be more open and vulnerable in a positive manner.  I glued my smile the entire day – inside and out, sending that positive energy and it worked.

I chose to swallow my ego and be patient with my aged and forgetful father who actually put his dentures in our jug of water.  He seemed to be disoriented today.

Today was definitely a good day and a new day for me.

I am starting over and will start over tomorrow.

Be Aware that there are things one cannot control.

Accept situations and people as they are

Achieve success in small portions and continue from there

Acknowledge those victories and celebrate no matter how small or simple it may be.

-Catherine Lim

Strange Encounter

 

We were spending quality time over toast and coffee catching up.  It was such a great breakfast that we just let time pass us by.   Mad and I are really kindred spirit as we share dreams and aspirations to make a difference in the world.  To have this moment was truly something I treasure very much, like a child all excited about the moment.

 People were walking about and some passing by our table. Then suddenly a lady stood at our table obviously trying to express herself.  We were stunned as she stood there for a few seconds before taking the courage to ask me about my caliper.

 She asked, “Is it alright if I ask you about your leg. What is it called?”

I replied, “Sure you can. It is called a caliper”

She then said, “My son wears a plastic cast like and it is giving him blisters. He walks slowly and needs assistance.  I was wondering where you made your caliper.”

I told her, “It is made in XXXXXXXx. Where did you go?”  She showed me the contact and it was the same place. 

 She asked me permission to see my caliper and I showed her how I put a towel to protect my thigh from blisters.

 We invited her to sit with us and chit chat with her. Her  son  is in university aspiring to be a doctor ,and  his physically  challenge because of spina bifida.  She said that he is very strong willed and very intelligent.  She became emotional.  She felt she was not good enough a mother.

 I felt really proud of her and told her, “Kak, you are an inspiration to all mothers because you are a motivator and the pillar of strength to your son. You should be proud of yourself to have a son like him because he is a gift to the world. You have brought him up well. He was given to you by Allah for a reason only HE knows.  Your son definitely is the greatest inspiration and motivation to those around him.  Be proud of yourself Kak,  be proud.”

 She cried as we held hands and chatted about her wonderful son and I shared stories of how some adults who hid themselves from the world because of their shame of their handicap.

 Kak Mumtaz, travels down from Kedah to KL every week to spend time with her son and help him with errands despite him telling her not to trouble herself. She said it was important for her to spend that quality time with him and encourage him because he has difficulty but he never complains.  She told me that it was not easy for a disabled child to enter the university to study medicine.  Her son aspires to be a doctor and I told her that he will be a great doctor because of his passion.  She said it would be very difficult for him to practice here.  Mad and I told her, that nothing is impossible eventhough difficult.  She ought to place her faith in Allah and let Him plan her son’s life mission.

 My life journey is centered in trusting my Creator and have fallen so many times I almost gave up. The calling within is the one that always pushes me to move forward and place myself in His hands.  Today, I can proudly say that He plans everything in HIS Time and not mine.  He has sent many angels into my life and to reach my potential.

 What a fruitful and beautiful day it has been for me. My future is certainly beautiful with my imperfections because through my physical handicap, I am a motivator and an inspiration. It brings joy within me that even money cannot buy.   I am grateful and I am abundantly blessed!

 images (4)

 

GONG XI GONG XI

The Year of the Monkey.

2016, the year of great adventures and awesome possibilities.  

May we be as active as the Monkey to tirelessly search and achieve our dreams.

Curious like the Monkey to dare to dream and reach our potential.

I wish everyone the best this year.  May your goals and dreams come true.

Remember to share your fortune no matter big or small,  with the less fortunate.  

Giving is Receiving!  Through your generosity, you will receive  A THOUSANDFOLD of Blessings and with FULL OF LOVE in return, GUARANTEED.

Stay Blessed and continue your journey even when it is rocky and stormy.

 

monkey

 

Memories of Wheel of Fortune

Have you ever experienced times in your life where life was so rocky that you felt as if the world had no more place for you and it would seem that the dark cloud would follow you wherever you go.  Nothing seemed worth living for.  Then as if by some miracle, something good would shake the dark cloud out of the way and lifted up your spirit even for a short time; but enough to lighten the pain in your life?  This was one of those miracle for me.

In year 2000, I went back into my depressive state for months. It was painful because it was of my physical condition that I was jilted.  Anyway, at that time, I was crushed because I gave my full trust and love to the man whom I had so much respect and faith in. Through that pain and suffering, I walked out not allowing myself to dwell into it but it was one of the toughest journey I had ever travelled. I was also suffering from hyperthyroidism at that time . Now that was another journey altogether which I hope to share with you the miracle of it.

I lost my self esteem and I lost my self eventhough I was consciously aware I had to get out of it.  It was as if I was in a dark pit looking for an invisible rope to pull me out of that black dark pit of life.  I lived my life unhappy although externally I would still smile but I was struggling inside.  I prayed and prayed that I could get out of this situation and continue to live my life.  I cannot change my physical disability so that’s that.

At the time, one of my favourite tv show was the local ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and people were talking about how to get in for the audition to be in the game show.  Without a thought, one morning, I decided to just call the tv station and asked about it. I gave my name and told them I was interested to take part in the gameshow.  The voice at the other end said that I would be called for an audition and I would need to wait a month or so.  I left it at that because I did not believe I would be even lucky to be called for an audition  Good fortune was not on my side r so I believed.  2 weeks later, I got a call and was asked to attend a series of tests 3 days’ time.  Was I excited?  I was numb and I could not find my joy. I called my godsister and she accompanied me 3 days later for the tests.

Believe it or not, that took me away from my pain and emotional stress. I had fun with the tests and auditions and I passed.  Of course, as usual, people were looking at a woman with a leg brace going for audition and wondering what can I do. I had to act out a script, be interviewed, take photo shoots, etc.  I really had fun and laughed so much doing them.  I did it and I got through into the game show.  Throughout the game show, I discovered how good I was and my confidence level was challenged. Still it was a great learning experience and I was in a different kind of world for a short time; short enough to help me heal a little bit more and gave me my self confidence back.  I got through up to the semi finals.  I was disappointed I could not get to the finals but it was, I believe a distraction for me from the Almighty.  It was indeed a miracle and a dream come true.  I  can still feel the joy and excitement today as I am writing this.  The chandelier I won is lighting up my home. I still can talk about it with excitement and pride.

I am blessed to be watched over by my guardian angels because, something good always happens when I am in my dark moments.  The Wheel of Fortune got me out of the dark pit and it helped me avoid dwelling over my pain of being rejected and cheated.  Now as I think over the incident, I no longer feel anything.  It’s just a passing memory and experience.  I am a better person today.

People treat imperfection like a disease and in the end, they are the ones who are diseased. I count my blessings and whether I want to experience those dark roads, it’s really not up to me but I know there’s always hope and light at the end of it.  This is one of my champion moments where I find my strength I have forgotten I had.  My physical imperfection is my greatest blessing because it has power in it.  After all, God blessed it and blessed me.

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging”   – Brene Brown
rodaimpian