You can save a life

 

Your simple smile can save a life.
Your hug can save a life.
Your laughter can save a life.                                                                                                             Your ‘hello’ can save a life.
Your encouragement can save a life.
Your text message can save a life.
Your email can save a life
Your compliments can save a life.
Your pat on a shoulder can save a life.
Your helping hand can save a life.
Your stories can save a life.                                                                                                                     Your presence can save a life.                                                                                                                 Your prayer can save a life.
You can save a life.

Do you know how powerful every human being is?  We are capable of goodness and greatness.  Our life experience can heal others.  That our life journey and mission whilst creating greatness for ourselves, we also create greatness in others.

Isn’t life a journey ?Not so much to a destination but toward transformation.     

The richest and awesome times of our life also comes come right in the midst of our hardest times.                                                                                                                                                               
God made us to live in community, to laugh and cry, to hurt and celebrate together no matter what we are going through.

Transformation is tough and sometimes we don’t always end up where we want to be but we live in believe because God believes in us. He fills our life with purpose and passion, if we just let Him into our life to walk the journey with us.

The best part of the journey is God of the universe allows us to play our part in changing the world.

The world is you and I.   We need each other.

motherteresa121813

Memories of Wheel of Fortune

Have you ever experienced times in your life where life was so rocky that you felt as if the world had no more place for you and it would seem that the dark cloud would follow you wherever you go.  Nothing seemed worth living for.  Then as if by some miracle, something good would shake the dark cloud out of the way and lifted up your spirit even for a short time; but enough to lighten the pain in your life?  This was one of those miracle for me.

In year 2000, I went back into my depressive state for months. It was painful because it was of my physical condition that I was jilted.  Anyway, at that time, I was crushed because I gave my full trust and love to the man whom I had so much respect and faith in. Through that pain and suffering, I walked out not allowing myself to dwell into it but it was one of the toughest journey I had ever travelled. I was also suffering from hyperthyroidism at that time . Now that was another journey altogether which I hope to share with you the miracle of it.

I lost my self esteem and I lost my self eventhough I was consciously aware I had to get out of it.  It was as if I was in a dark pit looking for an invisible rope to pull me out of that black dark pit of life.  I lived my life unhappy although externally I would still smile but I was struggling inside.  I prayed and prayed that I could get out of this situation and continue to live my life.  I cannot change my physical disability so that’s that.

At the time, one of my favourite tv show was the local ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and people were talking about how to get in for the audition to be in the game show.  Without a thought, one morning, I decided to just call the tv station and asked about it. I gave my name and told them I was interested to take part in the gameshow.  The voice at the other end said that I would be called for an audition and I would need to wait a month or so.  I left it at that because I did not believe I would be even lucky to be called for an audition  Good fortune was not on my side r so I believed.  2 weeks later, I got a call and was asked to attend a series of tests 3 days’ time.  Was I excited?  I was numb and I could not find my joy. I called my godsister and she accompanied me 3 days later for the tests.

Believe it or not, that took me away from my pain and emotional stress. I had fun with the tests and auditions and I passed.  Of course, as usual, people were looking at a woman with a leg brace going for audition and wondering what can I do. I had to act out a script, be interviewed, take photo shoots, etc.  I really had fun and laughed so much doing them.  I did it and I got through into the game show.  Throughout the game show, I discovered how good I was and my confidence level was challenged. Still it was a great learning experience and I was in a different kind of world for a short time; short enough to help me heal a little bit more and gave me my self confidence back.  I got through up to the semi finals.  I was disappointed I could not get to the finals but it was, I believe a distraction for me from the Almighty.  It was indeed a miracle and a dream come true.  I  can still feel the joy and excitement today as I am writing this.  The chandelier I won is lighting up my home. I still can talk about it with excitement and pride.

I am blessed to be watched over by my guardian angels because, something good always happens when I am in my dark moments.  The Wheel of Fortune got me out of the dark pit and it helped me avoid dwelling over my pain of being rejected and cheated.  Now as I think over the incident, I no longer feel anything.  It’s just a passing memory and experience.  I am a better person today.

People treat imperfection like a disease and in the end, they are the ones who are diseased. I count my blessings and whether I want to experience those dark roads, it’s really not up to me but I know there’s always hope and light at the end of it.  This is one of my champion moments where I find my strength I have forgotten I had.  My physical imperfection is my greatest blessing because it has power in it.  After all, God blessed it and blessed me.

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging”   – Brene Brown
rodaimpian

 

 

Memories

 

28356_395491988619_7743438_nI am reminiscing one of my champion moments to remind myself what I am capable of.  One of them was the time when I just decided to try parasailing.

That was in the 90’s and it was in Penang, I would just decide to go for a holiday to visit my friend and colleague then.  He  and his wife took me to the beach and there I was fascinated about being up in the sky on parachute.

I saw from a distance a man was being pulled by a speedboat and then the boat stopped and the man was still flying but suddenly he fell into the water when the wind stopped blowing.   I was excited and asked the operator about the parasail and if I could fly because I cannot run.  I saw one person had to run while being pulled by the speedboat.  He said I need not run and so I decided to do it.  Without a thought I said I  want to go up on my own without assistance.  And so I was being prepared for my flight up.

No thought came to mind except wanting to be up there in the sky like a bird.

I was pulled up by the speedboat so fast  when I reached up the sky, I have never felt so free and so happy in my life.  I understand what a bird’s eye view mean and how a bird’s  ability to feel free. I thoroughly enjoyed the moment.  I was called out of my happiness and trance in a very short time when the operator shouted me to pull the cord to come down.  I refused because it was not long.  He insisted because the wind slowly becoming strong.  I reluctantly pulled the cord and landed on the sandy beach.  I landed on my bum on the sandy beach.  It was the best although short moment of glory for me.  It really, really felt so good.  I can still feel it now.  I am anchoring this feeling right now.  Then  my colleague’s wife wanted to fly but got one of the operators to fly with her.

One American lady came up to me and asked me how it was and I shared the excitement with her.  She said I was so brave because she was still contemplating of doing something different that day being her 50 birthday.  I encouraged her to do it. Not sure if she did or not.

I shared my excitement and my experience with my friends and then my excitement died down when they told me horrible stories about parasailing. I was glad I did not hear anything negative when I was in Penang.

You see, I am someone who takes chances in life when I was younger.  As I grew older over the years and through the conditioning of my surrounding, I became somewhat a person who began to fear starting anything.  Then of late I realized how a coward I have become when I look back after that parasailing experience, I have lost my own potential.

I dared live life to the fullest without a thought because being alive each day is a risk.  I have just recently been brought back to this beautiful exciting memories as I needed to achieve my goal and through NLP coaching exercise, it has helped me realise my potential and my qualities are still there (which I have buried deep in my unconscious level) and to bring it forward so that I can fully reach my potential and goals in the future.

Those who know me know that my caliper can never limit me to do anything I put my heart into.  Perhaps I need to do twice or three times harder.   It is my limiting belief that stops me.

As I look back again, yes, I have achieved so many things I wanted to do.  There were difficult moments. I  was a semi finalist for the local Wheel of Fortune, acted in stage plays, volunteer for charity works, swim, walk 5 km marathons, bought a tricycle so I can cycle, drive, dance, sing, and training, coaching, conduct laughter therapy, and looking forward to be a motivational speaker to change lives and make a difference.

 

I CAN,  I CAN,  I CAN….  I AM BORN FOR GREATNESS!

P.E.A.R

 

Act of kindness change lives

We were waiting for our friend  to meet us at the café.  It was about 9.00 am on a Saturday morning.  Then when she arrived we went to order our food and my sister Bel bought her favourite fish burger and a breakfast set for me with my favourite coffee.

Then she said “There is a man sitting outside and he took some food left by a customer of the café at a table near him.”  I turned to look and there was this man dressed in a green shirt looking slightly shabby and timid.  He was looking around and the tables around him.  He had a cup at the table, we were not sure if it was his.  Bel said, “I think he must be hungry.  Maybe we can treat him with this burger and we share the breakfast set. “  I replied, “Hmm…  random act of kindness for today.  Why not?”  “I am ok if you are.” And so Bel went over as the man was standing facing outside with his back turned. Bel quickly left the burger at the table and came back to sit with me.

Then we peeked and watched him turned and suddenly he saw the box and opened it.  He then took it and ate it. We were very happy .

Bel and I decided years ago that every day, if we could, we will practice at least one act of kindness each day; be it a smile (a real eye contact smile), a greeting, a treat, a helping hand, etc.   Some times we did more than once and it was something we felt blessed doing.

A simple reason for me is because all these years struggling to find my purpose and my life,  I have received many act of kindness by strangers before.  Then in the later years, I noticed that I have been in situations where strangers would appear in front of me and talk with me as if he or she needed a shoulder to ‘cry on’.  From then on, I realized what an impact we can give another human being who is in need. How, the universe or for me,  God,  would arrange the meeting for such events to happen.  I believe it very strongly as it has happened over and over again with me.  Every where I go I would meet strangers who would talk with me and asked about my ‘condition’ and they share their problems with me.

I am like everyone else who go through many ups and downs; still because of my awareness and how I felt  after each act of giving that makes me happy, I began to use that as a way to heal my own pain and sadness .  Giving is an act naturally as serving another human being brings tremendous joy and healing to both parties. Again, it can be any small act; even if it is a smile or just a ‘hello’.

I never knew how my smile and laughter too have changed someone’s day.  I have been told my laughter was always loud and it was not appropriate for a girl.  Of course, I felt as if I was created all wrong (besides my loud laughter)  and I just kept all these comments and tried to change so that I would not be criticized.  However, laughter is natural for me and I would just have a hearty laugh no matter how hard I stifle it.  Until one day (in my adulthood),  an elderly gentleman came up to me and said, “You know, I was feeling so tired and fed up just now until I heard you laughing.  It rang in my ears and it gave me a sense of joy and suddenly, I feel so much better.  You changed my entire day, thank you.”    I was stunned and I did not know how to respond to him because I have not received many compliments in my life. I went back reflecting on how I was snubbed for laughing out loud but today someone actually said something good about my laughter.  Is this an act of kindness?  I believe so, for both the gentleman and me.

Bel would not hesitate to help anyone. She even helped a worker in the supermarket to pushed a long stretch of trolleys because he was struggling.

There are just so many incidents  where I received kindness and practice kindness. The world does go around.  For me, it is a blessing each day just to do one small but meaningful act; even saying thank you to a cleaner or wave good bye to the garbage man.

Florence Littauer in her book on Silver Boxes talks about how to make others feel special, mend broken dreams and giving affirmation messages of the gospel through encouragement.  It is through that book Bel and I understood that we have been giving silver boxes to others and receiving silver boxes from others too.

We still continue today and will continue to do each day so that at least one person who needs a silver box will receive it.  We do it with no expectation but we know the blessings are a thousandfold and  we shall return these blessings to others and it goes around.

For me it is not that our acts are extraordinary but how extraordinary that act can be for the person receiving it.  I am always humbled when I received extraordinary acts of kindness from strangers and I can only return it with me practicing the same; even to animals and plants.

 pear

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.
We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”
― Mother Teresa

 

Laughter is the best medicine?

You bet it is one that is  a gift since the day we were created.  It is a quality all of us used to have as a child but it becomes buried when we were conditioned and taught by our environment;

“don’t laugh so loud, it is shameful”

“you are crazy to laugh for no reason”

“you cannot laugh for no reason, only sick people do”

And the list goes on.

Look at babies, children. Why do they laugh?  Do they have a reason ?  Are they shameful?  NO!   THEY ARE JUST HAPPY!  Children in fact smile as many as 400 times per day.

It is written that “Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life. 

You can decide to laugh for no reason as laughter makes you feel good; the good feeling remains with you even after the laughter subsides.  It helps you keep a positive and optimistic outlook in difficult situations, sadness and pain.  It gives you courage and strength to find resources to your solutions.

Laughter is contagious.  The best part is the brain cannot differentiate between real and fake laughter.  It gives our body the same health benefits. It has been scientifically established that laughter has amazing impact on our body and mind.  It helps to prevent onset of sickness by strengthening our immune system and also has a healing effect. A daily dose of laughter is one answer to de-stress and uplift your joy.

Extract from the Laugther Yoga “ Several studies are underway in many universities around the world. Clinical research conducted at Bangalore, India and in the United States has proved that Laughter lowers the level of stress hormones (epinephrine, cortisol, etc) in the blood. “

There’s so much to share about laughter so the next time someone says you are crazy when you burst out laughing by yourself, just tell them, “It is my best medicine.”

Fake it till you make it.  Fake laughter until it becomes real for you.

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(I am now a Certified Laughter Yoga leader.  It has been a fantastic experience and my childlike playfulness is the me even as an adult).

  Advice from an 80 year old man. 

What beautiful Life Lessons these are –
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for our convenience, not the caller’s.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone’s hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don’t expect life to be fair

Source: Pat Divilly

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Lessons from my parents today

Watching my father and mother in front of me during meals today made me recall how young they were.  It is unbelievable how much they have aged physically and mentally.

My father, now in his mid to late 80’s is not in a good mood today.  He grumbled and insisted we turn off the stove although we kept telling him we want to steam some food for him.  It is frustrating when he forgets despite explaining to him numerous times.  Finally, turned off the stove and he kept quiet.

Then came meal time, he wanted something which we told him that he can have something else instead.  He got angry and refused whatever we wanted to give him.  It has made me realise how fragile our brain becomes as we age.

My sister and I love to tease him because today he  was like a 5 year old and he keept asking the same question over and over again.  We do admit we do lose our patience when we forget that he is at the age where he forgets. 

Most days, he is fine and there are days he would fight us and said we bully him when  we tell him to stop  scratching himself (he scratched till he bled or skin would peel). He would get angry and told us to stop  ‘controlling’ him.  He is someone who used to laugh, play pranks and a very simple man. Now he has become that no-nonsense and serious man unless during his good days when he will joke.  At time when we play the same prank on him, he would get angry.  He is really teaching us patience and also what growing old is all about.

My mother on the other hand, is still tough and independent although physically she is weak.  She no longer can stand for long so she cannot cook anymore.  She is helping to care for my dad with his medicine and supervising him  when we are working.   Mom was the never sick in a day before, so seeing her suddenly weak was hard to bear.  She is in her 80’s too.  Dad was the sick one when he was younger but now it is just the opposite. Physically, he is healthy in a certain sense. Years back, mom took care of everything and made sure we had food on the table no matter what. Now it is our turn.

It was a joy today that we can go for mass for Christmas and have a meal together.  I enjoyed cutting  their chicken chop to small pieces and treating them with coffee and cake after that.  My sister kept teasing  both of them and our laughter filled the café. 

I thank God I can take care of them and each day God has heard our prayer to let us care for their needs. That they live a quality life as long as possible.

Merry Christmas pa and ma.  May you stay healthy and we love you very much.

Thank you for letting us take care of you and staying in our lives each day and teaching us to love you.

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It means caring for one another in our families: husbands and wives first protect one another, and then, as parents, they care for their children, and children themselves, in time, protect their parents. –Pope Francis