What C19 has taught me

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It has been more than a year since the C19 struck here in Malaysia. So much has happened and our country, her citizens continue to learn to survive and fight this virus. So many deaths and so many affected because they can no longer work. Lost of livelihood and some homes as they are not able to pay their bills.

For me, when our government declared the Movement Control Order last year, till today, our lives have changed totally. I can say that I am blessed because I felt more blessings than anything else. My relationship with my mother and sibling are closer. Not only we spend so much time at home, we cook and eat meals together and more importantly, we pray together even more.

By being away from the ‘world’ I am able to know myself even much better and see my authentic self rather than what others tell me what and how I should be. I found myself being able to relate to my own past and reconcile with just being me and accept that I can just be me and be happy with it. It was not easy at first because I was so consumed with the belief that if I am like my successful friends then I am also successful. I should be like them, copy their success and behave like them. I totally lost my authentic self and lived in confusion for so long. During the period of being ‘locked’ at home, I deepen my spiritual self and allow ME to grow and see me as I am; accepting my flaws, my laughter, my moods, my tempers, my naughtiness and learnt to forgive and love myself. It is NOW a true discovery that I AM ENOUGH!

It is ok to just be simple. It is ok to just be grateful to have 2 pieces of clothes and not want more. It is ok to eat just a bowl of porridge with salted egg. It is ok to have egg and bread for dinner. In short, live simply and live with gratitude with what I already have. My revelation about myself is truly a blessing and although it took C19 pandemic to discover me, I am grateful – better late than never. I have been involved in humanitarian work during this time to help those in need of food and that got me even more grounded. I see even more suffering and also joy in giving and serving the poor and underprivileged.

When ‘I AM ENOUGH!’ motto was revealed to me, I wondered what it meant. Who am I, really? This journey of self discovery has been amazing and my relationship with God has even got better. God has shown me so much of miracles and answered my prayers. He does give what we need and when He sees the need. To learn to surrender to Him and whilst serving Him through charity and helping the needy, He works even harder to ensure everything is taken care of. I do have challenges now and then and I do experience ups and downs yet it is less stressful and painful. I learnt to love and accept them and reflect how I can change and be better each day. After all, as a human being, I do fall, it is the rising and moving forward that makes the difference.

He created me PERFECT in His eyes as I am authentic. There is no one like me. Despite the problems around me, I find joy in myself and I see myself truly with love and knowing He moulds me every day and I have a purpose and mission for Him.

I AM indeed ENOUGH! Like a drop of water, I make the ocean….. Together with others in the world, we can help empower each other and be hands and feet of our Creator to serve humanity and alleviate suffering.

Remember when you doubt yourself, YOU ARE ENOUGH… Spend time with yourself more. You deserve better. My wish for you that you will carry Joy in you always and with that have LOVE.

The Pandemic

It’s been more than a year since the start of MCO due to C19. As we know many things have happened to families, friends, the economy, school; the whole country and the world have been badly affected. Some lost their businesses, loved ones, freedom to move about, spiritually challenged, school disrupted. Some lost their jobs and struggling to find their footing and to put food on the table.

Then there are some business that flourished, some found meaning in life, some families became closer, some found time to pray as a family. In short, C19 is not all bad. Many found new perspective in life when MCO was introduced in our country. Physical contact is almost zero with friends and acquaintances. Social distancing is important. I am glad I don’t wear lipstick or makeup as wearing masks helps to save money too… ha…ha…ha……

I consider these miracles and we need miracles now more than ever. Since MCO started, in my own home, we became closer, we pray more together, we realised that we really need very little to live each day and able to just enjoy the simple things we have. I miss my annual pilgrimage but flying is not possible now. Yet, pilgrimage in our own hearts has begun.

I also found a purpose during MCO and has been actively continuing till now. Serving the underprivileged and being involved in mission (flood, food relief, street feeding, etc) is spiritually fulfilling and joyful. I am grateful each day for what I experience. I am grateful for all I have (and do not have). When I was asked to join a relief mission, it was a way for me to get out of the house I thought. It became a calling to serve and what was so special was it gave me a sense of fulfillment and gratitude. I have no complains about my life and understanding that nothing is permanent was in front of me.

I truly thank God for the miracles He has shown me throughout this time. There are down times, yet these down times help to connect me spiritually with my inner being and accept my own iniquities and strength and find myself. There is still so much to do to help and bless those who have less than me.

I encourage you and my own friends, to share what you can to bless these brothers and sisters who need our support. Who are we to judge their circumstances as each have their own story. When you see their expressions, their teary eyes, their voice when they receive the hotmeals is enough to tell you how grateful they are.

Miracles happen every moment and I pray God continue to give His mercy to all of us during this time. More importantly, we humans must open our hearts to humbly surrender to our Creator and take responsibility to curb C19 instead of thinking about profit and power. We are responsible to one another to prevent C19 from spreading.

Life’s journey

My recovery journey from a bone fracture since May 2018 has been, well, bumpy, uncertain to a point I wondered what’s the future going to be. I was told my recovery would take more than a year to walk again. It would be difficult. X Ray’s after X rays showed little improvement and that was not encouraging.

Now 14 months on, I am walking and moving about with my trusted caliper. At home, I still depend on the walking frame as support. My life is starting over and I am ready to get back to work to inspire, facilitate, make a difference.

I chose to fight a good fight when I was emotionally drained, when doubts came crowding in, when times I felt so alone inside,.

I am VICTORIOUS against being a victim of circumstances. I am Proud I got up to learn to walk on the 10th month. I did Laughter Sessions, shared joy and fun in an international conference, did rhythm circles with kids, coaching, volunteer in church, all that I love to do during those periods of recovery instead of focusing in the negative elements. With my wheelchair and walking frame, I got into sharing the Wellness and benefits of essential oils that helped in my recovery journey, with friends.

Got back to learning to be strong again; mind, body and spirit. I am starting over STRONGER, that’s for sure. The storm has passed. New days ahead… I am blessed with friends who love me and gave their 💯support. More importantly I gave myself 💯 of Love and support.

LOVE yourself first and your body. That’s the only body you have. What you tell yourself matters. Your body hears you. ♥️♥️♥️ I thank my body for its determination to heal.

Have abundance every moment of your living.  Give Thanks in the morning the moment you open your eyes.  Give Thanks before you sleep.

#mindsetchange #perceptionisprojection #youarewhatyoubelieve#nlpcoaching #embracinglifeinspiringchange

 

Gratitude Counts

Hi, I am back this morning with this urge to send a Gratitude message here.

It has been some time that I stopped writing here or anywhere.  Figuring out what I was doing and who I was really.  Yes, this dry desert journey.  As I look back now, I realised so much about my life was about acceptance and wanting to just be me. I remembered a nun whom I have a lot of respect and admire for her dedication and love for God said that, the distance from our Being to our heart is short yet very challenging. Some of us live life doing what we can to connect our own spirit with our heart, to live life to the fullest wanting to accept who we are and have joy and peace in our heart.

In short, the one key ingredient in our life even for me is  to understand and really grasp that Gratitude Counts, no matter what.  Look into the little things each day to be grateful for and embrace that into my spirit and my heart. Practice saying out or think with my heart and head that I have lots to be grateful for without comparing my life with others and no matter what my situation was.

May 2018, I broke my leg and that journey brought me farther and deeper into my ownself to see who I truly was and how I saw the world differently. Mind you, being in a wheelchair one sees the world at the waist level.  I saw how people walked and move about; where their eyes were focused on, their attitude, behaviour and their emotional state. It gave me an insight about me and how I have been and I can become. Then I realised how grateful I should be although in a wheelchair, I still know how to have fun and see things differently. Have I changed, most definitely.  I am now walking again with my caliper except when I am at home, which I need to use my walking frame. I am grateful my recover journey is blessed and counted for by God with the support of so many friends who are my Guardian Angels.  Just so many of them.

Life is still good and will be even better. Gratitude Counts every moment especially more so, when one feels down and disappointed.  Like the flowers, when they bloom they really bloom and be beautiful. No matter where they are planted, they always show their beauty in their BEST FORM, facing the sun.  Look closer, you see them smile.

So, make your GRATITUDE COUNT. Bloom like the flowers, and SMILE AT THE SUN because, life can be BEAUTIFUL when we make it.  LIVE, LIVE, LIVE.  There’s no failure, only experience so that life gets better each time. I am GRATEFUL I have another Day to LIVE, LOVE, SHARE, INSPIRE, EMPOWER, REACH OUT, RECEIVE, WIN, FALL, LAUGH, CRY and the list goes on….

Share you GRATITUDE with me……

 

Enjoy your ice cream

Every day, we go through life with some form of stress and challenges and no matter how patient we are, we still will lose it.

Life, like the road we travel, has bumps, humps, traffic lights, blockages, potholes… okay okay,,,  we do have smooth rides…   Or your kids or adults around us just drives us nuts!

How do you react towards those challenges?  Do you get impatient, or just drive through those challenges ?

Whatever, you feel is just part of us.  Most importantly, at the end of it all, we can laugh at our own silliness for those negative emotions as we are not able to change the situation that is beyond our control.

At least we are still alive to enjoy these life adventures…  Be abundantly blessed and feel blessed.

So, remember to enjoy an ice cream and relax.  Let your inner child out…  LAUGH, BE SILLY, FEEL SILLY…….

After all,  LIFE IS STILL FULL OF FUN…..

Review – TKFTBA2- Before We Forget

I was feeling under the weather the past few days and to get myself out of the house for a movie helped. I decided to write this to share my thoughts.

Overall, The Kid from The Big Apple 2 got my attention to many issues about family, communication, forgiveness, judgement, childlike playfulness, love, sacrifice, change and the disease called Dementia.  You could hear sniffles here and there as certain parts of the movie do make the audience cry.

This Malaysian made movie has so many elements and values that are slowly missing in families and relationships.  This time Director Jess Teong delivers about dementia and old age where we see dignity in it. I see how grandpa is portrayed to understand his deteriorating memory and he was afraid of causing hurt to his family whilst fear that he would forget his family.  A dilemma I believe most old people will experience.

What is beautiful about this story, that his daughter Sophia and granddaughter Sarah adores Grandpa and their love overcame every obstacles they have.

Sarah and Bao truly show the innocence of children and their positive mindset which we can all use and learn from.  As adults, most of us including me see problems as problems rather than something which we can find solution or alternative to overcome.

Neighbours he had when he was living in the flat were truly family. With their unique behaviours and attitude, they held on to love and friendship and that kept him going for so many years living alone. I love the fact I used to experience such love and friendship from the neighbours, overlooking their inquisitive and ‘kaypo’ (nosy) behaviour.

Sophia’s past with her husband and at first it was all the bad, irresponsible man played by Shaun Tan.  He played his role well and when he told the reasons he left  so that Sophia can graduate (he sacrificed his studies so that financially, he can support her) and how much he regretted not being there to see Sophia succeed, receive their daughter together, change nappies, etc). Whatever the excuse, we do make decisions based on what was right at that time.  Here, the communication between 2 persons is reconciled and mended broken fences which is important.

I love Ah Bao (Jason Tan) fun loving, silly but innocent child character.  He really brings everyone together .  I can say he is the highlight and the hero in the movie.  He teaches us trust, integrity, creativity, how to have fun, how to love, etc.. all the values we have to be.

Ti Lung, the actor who played Grandpa was my hero when he was the Kung Fu (martial arts) movies.  Seeing him at this age was totally a surprise.  He suddenly changed from a kungfu fighting actor to become a frail old man.

I understand that part where he and Ah Meng went to an old folks home to see if he can live there so that he does not burden his daughter. He changed his mind after seeing the condition there and what Ah Meng shared where  he (Ah Meng)  did not have a chance to spend more time with his mother because he put her in a home.  He regretted it.

Grandpa also talked about how he wished he could travel the whole of Malaysia and spend more time with his daughter and Sarah.  The biggest fear is that he would forget them both.

My own father wish was to visit his hometown and we made that wish happen 2 years ago, but sadly he cannot recognise even his own school.  I am glad we took that trip though.

This movie touched the core of my being because I am living with my nearly 90 year old father going through his 2nd childhood.  I admit that I struggle accepting my formerly strong, easy going father to a grumpy, stubborn, lazy old man who at times forget what he does or what he has eaten, he is living in his own time zone; totally not the man I used to know.  He has his moments but it is still alright.  I just thank God he can recognise us at home. Whilst watching the movie, my father flashed through my head and I cried knowing that I have so much I still have to do; to accept my father as he is now and to love him as he is.   I love him and it is my duty to care for him; no home can care for him and my mother like our own.  I am blessed he is still physically alright.

In real life, my father is not like Grandpa, with such good behaviour as he can be quite a handful, like a child who refused to do things when called to, but he has his good times.  Thank God he knows who we are and is still able to argue with us.

Congratulations Jess Teong for one of the best family drama alive.  You truly bring back and remind us the values which we a losing in our current society.  Bring more to our screen such valuable lessons we need.

Whilst my father is breathing, I will do my best to love him and spend that time with him until he goes home to his Maker.  TKFTBA 2 – Before we Forget is a reminder to me of my situation and how I should ‘handle’ it.

Live another day, live it well.  Make it count each day knowing we lived.  –  Catherine Lim

My father enjoying his coffee.

 

 

Past caught up with me

It has been a while since I have met anyone from my distant past during my youth where my life was filled with questions where life had no purpose.

For the past months, I was busy with work and being a daughter to my elderly parents and reflecting on  where God wanted me to go.  Placing my trust in my creator is one of those where it challenges me to let go of control and allowing Him to journey with me.

Anyway, back to my meeting people of my distant past as a youth. This came to be as this gnawing question “how has my life impacted or just by being me, has any meaning at all, especially during the years where everything seemed wrong, and when I was about to give up.”  That gnawing question was answered a couple of days ago.

A few months ago, I was in a place of gathering and from a far a guy smiled at me and then walked into the hall.  He looked familiar and yet I was not sure.  Then a few days ago, I was back there again and he was seated a few rows behind me.  After the event was over, I walked towards him and called his name ( I was very sure).  His eyes sparkled and he smiled and said, “You remembered my name”. He quickly told he me was sick and also lost a leg and his memory.  He forgot almost everything about his life.  Slowly, he could remember certain things and he said he remembered me (except my name).  His memory told him that I am someone from his past and then he remembered how I inspired him because of my disability and being able to dance so well in functions.  He loved to sing and we used sing together.  After his sickness 7 years ago, he is now teaching music at home but has not sung.  I encouraged him to sing again and I know he can.

We were not close but we were close enough to enjoy each other’s company whenever we met for singing and practice those days.  Somehow, we lost contact and that was more than 20 years.

In that 10 minutes of just getting acquainted again (did not get to details of his sickness which he said he would want to share with me more as he died and came back to life again), I learned so much about him and myself. He is strong and uplifted.  The man with so much joy in his life despite his predicament. He told me he remembered always how inspired he was of me and that I am strength and a positive energy to those I am with.

I am so humbled by his encouragement and affirmation because as a youth, with so much of anger, questions about my existence, I could still inspire others by just being me.

After more than 20 years, I would say that this message gave me  the opportunity to share perhaps with young people of today that –

No matter how shitty life was,  as a human being, we are created for a purpose even when we are at our lowest point in life.  We only just keep pushing forward and live.  JUST LIVE.

Be curious, be adventurous, go out for activities that you like.  Get involved in charity works, serve the community, dance, sing;  just avoid illegal stuff.   The more you get involved, you meet people ;  whether those who will encourage you or ‘trample’ you –  they are actually helping you to grow. Communicate (not fight or argue) with you family members, especially your parents.  I know that parents are dominating but they do it our of love.  Be patient.

The more you keep going the more you grow and see who you are and able to grow from strength to strength and even, at the same time, inspire someone or two during your journey.  The tougher your journey, the stronger you are.  No matter how bad your storm of life is, the sun will always shine at the end of it all.  That’s how life is.  JUST DON’T GIVE UP !!!!!

What you ask will be answered,  in HIS TIME!  Trust yourself because HE created you! He cannot be wrong to create you!

I am writing this as a reminder to myself or anyone who may need this message.

My prayer is that life will lead you to where you want to go.  Journey it with faith and prayer.  Angels are around to guide you.  ‘Devils’ too… they teach you many things of what you should not become.

Ask for help; Learn and learn and keep learning and then share.  Give yourself to others in need.

We are reflections of each other.  Those who criticize you have mirrors that need cleaning, that’s all.  They cannot see more of themselves.

Most importantly, overcome yourself with victory!

 

One’s Life Journey

Today, I have met so many people with so many different life story and how they came out strong and persevered.

Best of all coming out still loving and kind although still with feelings of hurt.

Gratitude and sense of abundance are so important elements which we need to hold and send out each day so that blessings continue to be showered on us as we journey each day.

Life is precious and whatever we do today, will affect tomorrow and those we touch.

One’s life journey is truly important and precious no matter where it leads.

How our little actions or even just a smile can actually change or move someone’s heart and even bring joy.

 

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. – Mother Teresa

 

 

 

 

Act of Kindness Today

 

It’s been a long time since I walked the morning market.  Hustle and bustle of sellers and buyers.  Fresh vegetables, fruits, trinkets, clothes, bags, dry food, canned food, coconut water, breakfast of sorts, you name it, we have it here in Malaysia.

This morning, I got up early and with my sister, Bel, we took a stroll and joined another sister of ours and my oldest niece and had breakfast.  My niece has her favourite stall that sells the freshest cakes and breads and persuaded to see and then I bought a butter cake home for my old folks.

Both my sister and my niece left but l and I sat at the coffeeshop and had our breakfast when a lady with a file came and asked for donation for a underprivileged centred which is in another state up north.  Usually, we reject such request because there are lots of syndicate involved.  However, today Bel decided that she will not question and just gave a small some. Then we asked the lady if she had breakfast and we wanted to buy her a cuppa.  She declined and thanked us for our kindness.

About 2 minutes later, an Indian gentleman approached our table and greeted us.  We know him as he has been selling lottery tickets for many years and he knows that I do not buy them.  Whenever we meet he would pass me but would greet me.  This morning, he asked how we were and that he has not seen me for a while.  We chatted and wanted to buy him a cuppa too but he declined gently and thanked us.  Then I decided that today I will buy from him since we happened to meet.

I  told Bel that 2 people rejected our offer for a cuppa but we contributed to their effort. That was the least we did.

It is somewhat a beautiful and fulfilling morning and the joy and satisfaction feeling inside of us gave us the sense of purpose that our life today is meaningful.  We are creatures of giving and sharing.  Being selfish is not in our system because you will feel dissatisfied and unhappy.  I do.

The rest of the morning after that we went about getting some soil and pots for our plants and Bel did another act of kindness when she asked the workers in the nursery if they wanted coconut water as they were having a quick bite to fill their hunger pangs while entertaining customers.  So we  did.

What a day it has been for us and I should say that our life bank account has some good deposits today.  I look forward to the rest of today and I want to enjoy every moment including writing this.

We received gifts from a good buddy of ours who went overseas just now and we are grateful because those gifts are blessings from above.

How has your day been today?  Celebrate the small happenings thank the Universe for today’s path and the stops we are going to make before the day ends.

Live every moment, and respond rightly to events that occur.  Be a magnet of positivity and greatness.

• joie de vivre –

Friday 21 July 2017

Today I have had a very personal journey of self.  I am in the world but yet I am in my own world.  Connecting my self with the world outside and the happenings as I interact with strangers and friends wherever I was.

I found my sense of peace and being able to stay calm and be kind to my emotions and my own state of mind is clearly an achievement.  I am so proud of myself.

I allowed my peace in midst of chaos or misbehaved adults.  I chose to speak nicely and not allow anger or impatience take over.  I allowed myself to be more open and vulnerable in a positive manner.  I glued my smile the entire day – inside and out, sending that positive energy and it worked.

I chose to swallow my ego and be patient with my aged and forgetful father who actually put his dentures in our jug of water.  He seemed to be disoriented today.

Today was definitely a good day and a new day for me.

I am starting over and will start over tomorrow.

Be Aware that there are things one cannot control.

Accept situations and people as they are

Achieve success in small portions and continue from there

Acknowledge those victories and celebrate no matter how small or simple it may be.

-Catherine Lim